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Codependency

When a loved one becomes an addict, we can become so focused on trying to help and support that person that we lose track of our own feelings and needs. When we support addicts or protect them from the problems they create, we "enable" them to continue their addiction.

Although you may mean well, protecting an addict from the consequences of dependency makes maintaining the dependency easier for the addict to accomplish. This form of taking responsibility for another's behavior is called codependency.

Fantasies of Rescue

The codependent person stakes personal self-esteem on being able to help or please another person. The codependent may think, "If I were a better husband/wife/partner/friend, he/she wouldn't keep drinking/using." A fantasy that you can rescue the addict or alcoholic is one of the warning signs of codependency. The more codependent you become, the less you are in touch with the distortions of reality caused by the addictive behavior. You may eventually lose your own identity as you attempt to rescue or protect the addict.

Codependency is common among the family and friends of addicts. Many substance abuse treatment centers offer treatment for codependency.

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