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- Blaming -

Overview

Blaming others for our problems is one of the mechanisms of denial. When chemically dependent persons blame someone or something else for problems caused by their using alcohol or drugs, they avoid taking responsibility for those problems. Pointing the finger at someone or something else helps them feel better about themselves and enables them to deny that their relationship with alcohol and/or drugs is the real cause of their problems.

Some Examples:

If my spouse would treat me right, I wouldn't drink so much.
If my car didn't have a light out, I wouldn't have gotten a D.U.I. arrest.
If you worked where I work, you'd drink a lot, too.
The bartender kicked me out because he's a jerk and just doesn't like fun people.
I slipped and fell because the ground was uneven, not because I was drunk.

Blaming often reverses cause and effect in relationships. For example, if an alcohol abuser's wife is angry or hostile about his drinking, he blames her anger or hostility for his need to drink. By focusing on people, places, and things outside of themselves, the alcoholic or addict, doesn't have to look at themselves too closely.

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