|
|
|
Denial
Overview
Denial is a common defense mechanism that everyone uses to some degree. It is an automatic response to avoid something uncomfortable. The kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar will say, when confronted, something like "I was just seeing if any cookies were left" or "No, my hand wasn't in the cookie jar."
Avoiding Uncomfortable Realities
Snap answers are a way to avoid admitting an uncomfortable reality. We don't consciously
have to think about what to say. The denial comes from the unconscious as an immediate
statement, said in a truthful, innocent or irritated voice. It comes from a fear of looking
bad or of having to give up a dependency we don't feel we can do without.
In addiction, denial gets stronger and more rigid. Alcoholics and addicts consciously believe
their own denial to avoid the painful reality that addiction controls their life. We can
think of denial as a way of telling the truth about a small part of reality as if it were
all of reality. For example, the person who has not had a drink in two hours might focus on
those two hours and assert, "I haven't been drinking" -- leaving out "for the last two hours."
Denial blinds addicts to the cause of their problem -- their dependence on drugs or alcohol.
It allows them to pretend that their using is not destructive. Denial is so powerful that
addicts are often the last to recognize their disease. Some pursue their addiction as their
life and health deteriorate, continuing their denial until they die.
Even during recovery, denial can occur. An example is the addict who says "I know I have to
quit drinking, but I never had a problem with weed, so I can use a little of that." After a
period of sobriety, denial often recurs with the thoughts, "I've been good for 6 months.
I can drink normally again."
Effects on Others
Denial is painful and causes frustration for those who care about the addict. The destructive progression of the addiction is obvious to everyone except the addict. Sometimes when family members release the addict (with love, if possible) and tell the addict they no longer want a relationship, the addict accepts the need for help. In other situations, the addict uses that rejection as another excuse to justify using more.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
