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Enabling Behaviors
Overview
Enabling behaviors by family, friends, and associates of a chemically dependent individual allow the individual to continue in the disease of chemical dependency. The system of behaviors that develops becomes 'normal' for enablers.
When we begin enabling, we often believe that we are being helpful. Many times, both the chemically dependent person and the enabler are in denial about the severity of the hidden addiction.
Examples of Enabling
Examples of enabling behaviors include:
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Making excuses for the addict/alcoholic (calling the alcoholic's boss to say they are sick with the flu, when they are really hung over, or referring to your teenager's drug use as 'just a phase')
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Paying their bills
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Bailing them out of jail
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Making rationalizations for their irresponsible behaviors
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Ignoring the problems caused by the addict's use ( financial, employment, legal)
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Cleaning up their messes
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Accepting their excuses or believing their lies
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Not discussing the problem of their chemical use
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Not getting help for yourself
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As addicts/alcoholics are rescued from the consequences of their using and drinking, they learn to rely on their enablers to continue their addiction.
Enabling behaviors can be changed, and recovery is possible even if the chemically dependent person does not seek help.
For more information: Changing Enabling Behaviors.
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