|
|
|
Enabling
Overview
When family, friends, and associates of a chemically
dependent individual allow that individual to continue the addiction
to alcohol or drugs, their behavior is called enabling. When repeated,
enabling behaviors become ingrained in the
chemically dependent person's family, job, or social structures.
Meaning Well: The Origins of Enabling
We often begin enabling in an attempt to be kind and helpful. For example,
we may wake someone so they are not late to work. By doing so, we help
them avoid the consequences of oversleeping because they were using or
drinking late into the night before. We loan addicts money, often over
and over again, and we are surprised when they use it to buy more drugs
or alcohol.
Enablers may have their own system of denial that is fed by the
lies and deceptions addicts use to cover up their using.
The Effects of Enabling
As enabling behaviors become routine, we end up feeling frustrated,
ineffectual, and angry. Often, we continue to enable because we don't want
to appear mean or unreasonable. Enabling behaviors directly and indirectly
support the vicious cycle of never-ending problems and pain of addiction.
When we stop enabling, when we stop helping and covering up for the addict,
we allow the addict to experience the consequences of their out-of-control
behavior. We no longer wake them up, loan them money, or bail them out of
jail. We stop shielding them from the consequences of their behaviors.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
